Folks can debate about who puts out the best guidebooks.  A lot of people brag about not using guidebooks at all, but the fact is it can be really helpful to have information in a format you’re familiar with.  These days, I feel fairly confident traveling.  But I wish I had a Lonely Planet for regular life – when I’m not traveling.   Hence, the somewhat embarrassing letter below.  What can I say? Sometimes, the planet isn’t the only one that’s lonely!

Lonely Planet Head Office
Locked Bag 1,
Footscray,
Victoria 3011Australia

August 30, 2007

Dear Editors at Lonely Planet,

I wonder if you could be so kind as to help me out with a problem.  In two weeks, I am set to take off to China.  The plan is that I will teach English for six months and then spend a few months traveling.  But just last week, a bloke I’ve had a crush on for ages asked me out to dinner.  (Why he had to wait until now, when I’m moving to the other side of the world, I don’t know.)  I still need to pack, finish organizing my visa, etc.  But instead I’m distracted by worrying about the upcoming date.

I believe that one of the reasons for my misplaced angst is that I have your useful book to guide me in China.  Yet I have no such guidance for dinner on Tuesday night.  Therefore, it would really help me out if you’d publish the following:

The guidebook I need. (based on a photo by José María Mateos)

I’m sure your staff all over the world could offer useful insights and expertise.   The information I need would fit easily in your standard format.

• History- what do I need to know about this guy?
• Orientation – I always feel disoriented when I’m around him. Help.
• Eating - I’m supposed to pick the restaurant.  What do I do?  Elegant and romantic (and thus probably pricey), or cheap and filling.  I need your listings with options in all price ranges.
• Sleeping – Well, the question is obvious, isn’t it? As above, how cheap should I be?
• Getting Around – see Sleeping

Of course the information in your appendices and directories would be helpful as well:

• Conversation Essentials
• Money
• Legal Matters (in case things don’t go well…)

I suppose that it is unlikely that you can put this book together before my date on Tuesday.  However, since it is quite likely that five years will go by before I get another date, I can hope that the book will be ready for me by then.

Thank you for your consideration and understanding.  After all, it is a lonely planet.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Choban

Epilogue: To the best of my knowledge this book still does not exist.  Tuesday night went well and I even got to enjoy a second date.  This was followed by me making a fool of myself by trying to spark a relationship from the other side of the planet and him inviting an ex-girlfriend to move in with him.  Ah, life!

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Jennifer Choban

Editor & Author at Gear Up & Play

I want to go everywhere. Top of the wish-list is a three way tie between southern Africa, the Andes (Peru, Bolivia & Ecuador) and Jordan. There are only two places that I never wanted to travel to (both in my own country) and I've already been to them both.

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